Based on Christy's comment, I am going to try to utilize some of the methods in Kevin Lehman's Have a New Kid by Friday. C really thought H's behavior improved when I was trying to stick with the advice in there. Click here to see my post about the book. (Apparently I meant to post a part two, but that didn't happen). Basically, he says respond don't react, stay cool, and don't make mountains out of molehills. Anyway, I've also decided that my expectations are a bit high for a four year-old. No, he shouldn't be slamming doors, but maybe he doesn't understand why I just threw the toy he was asking for out the bathroom door (that would be to get it away from his little brother who is about to go in the bath). So, I come clean about what made him angry (I hope C doesn't read this one). Still, C and I had a conversation and decided that we completely expect him to act like a rational adult. I think that may be setting the bar pretty high. Also, I find that certain things bring out the contradictory boy in him (being tired, eating). He really wants to make all the decisions himself and call the shots, you know? I guess one thing I struggle with is when to let it roll off my back and when to respond. Sometimes, when he's being contradictory, I'll give him a grin, and he starts to grin back. He can definitely be a bit of a cheeky monkey. Thanks to everyone who commented I responded in the comments on the previous post.
In other news, the weather this weekend was be-yoo-ti-full! We went to the park Saturday morning (if you haven't been on monkey bars in a while, take it easy, I thought I might pull my arm out of its socket). So, we spent lots of time outside, digging in the dirt, practicing some tee-ball, and blowing bubbles! Aahhh, Spring I feel your breath in the breeze.
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4 comments:
Take good notes as I may have to refer to them in the future! ;)
I can see how you would expect him to act like an adult seeing since sometimes he does act very mature for his age. I feel the same with Steven and Luk and often catch myself getting aggravated with them before I realize that what they are doing is really age appropriate, and that I've just come to expect probably too much from them at times.
And I would definitely think something like hunger/fatigue could change his attitude. Even I get testy at those times and I'm an adult! Gah!
Re: other news...the weather has been great, huh?! Chris and I had Arwen outside for a few minutes a couple times each day this weekend! Very nice. Thanks for the monkey bars warning though, we'll keep that in mind. :)
I'm the same way. I find myself getting shocked at my boys' irrational behavior and freak out thinking, "Where have I gone wrong?" It's definitely good to remember that they're just kids.
I read in the book "On Becoming Toddler Wise" that a 3 year old is only going to be obedient 60% of the time. He recommends to use discipline for disobedience 100% of the time, but remember to make it age appropriate. Also discipline is to teach them... so stay calm and don't be surprised by bad behavior.
I'll have to check out the book you're reading, too. I always get some good nuggets from reading parenting books.=)
K - I know exactly what you mean. I treat my son like he's an adult even though he's not even four yet. I think especially with the first child, it's something really natural. I have remind myself all the time that he's just a child and that I need to give him more of a break.
But I totally understand how hard it is to find the right line. You don't want to be too soft but you also don't want to overreact with transgressions.
Again, as my only child is but a baby, I don't have real experience here, but my friends have liked the book "the happiest toddler on the block" - so if you feel you need yet another expert opinion, you might want to look into that book!
We had a great weekend here too -weather wise. Can't say I played in the dirt or on monkey bars, but will keep your advice in mind if I am tempted to in the future!
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